Hello, I'm In Delaware
by koglesby
Summary: What would happen in Season 4 if Santana left for New York without Brittany.


**A/N: So I've never written anything before, but I listened to this song called Hello, I'm in Delaware by City and Colour and I was inspired. I'm not sure if this is any good, but hey I tried. Thanks for reading.**

**Here's the song. It's not the original. This is actually a cover by a band called The Atlantic. But I feel like it matches the story better than the original: watch?v=XUAFSOP0fdo**

**Hello, I'm In Delaware**

"I don't know if I can do this." You turn in your seat so that you're facing me and sigh. Your eyes are locked on our hands which have been tangled over the consol in a death grip since we got in the car.

"Santana, what are you talking about? You've been saying all year how you're going to be famous. You already know I believe in you." I've always believed in you Santana. I don't understand why you can't see what everyone else sees. What I see.

"No, no. I know without a doubt I'm going to be famous. I just don't know if I can get on this plane without you, Britt. I don't want to be awy from you for this long. I don't even know if I can." Your voice breaks on the last words. The tears in your eyes are getting so thick and they're about to spill overboard and mess up all your makeup that you spent 2 hours putting on this morning. I knew you weren't putting on all that makeup just to get on a plane. You were trying to delay the inevitable, but baby, this is how it has to be right now. You have to go.

"Honey, don't cry." Your eyes shoot up to mine. The intensity of your eyes scares me. The eyes that are usually the most beautiful chocolate brown were almost completely black. I've never seen you look so scared, and I've known you for a very long time. I know you better than I know myself. "In 2 months I'll be getting on the same plane to get to you. I just have to finish getting these last few credits so I can graduate and then we can get on with our life in New York." As I said _our_ life, I remembered a few years ago when those words would have sent you running scared. Now they seemed to offer you a tiny bit of comfort.

The tears in your eyes finally broke the barrier and ran down your face. "I can't lose you. I just finally got you and now…I just love you so mu-," you squeaked out before I pressed my lips to yours. To this day I still get butterflies when your lips touch mine. You inhaled sharply and rested your forehead on my own.

"I love you too, San. More than anything. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me." I said as I rubbed my nose against yours. You are always the strong one. I hoped this time I could be strong enough for both of us so you didn't have to be.

The beginnings of a smile started to make its way across your face. I'd do anything for that smile. You leaned forward and melded your lips around my bottom one and just held there. It felt like home. With both of our eyes closed, I reached up and wiped the tear tracks from your cheeks. "Let's go, baby. You can't miss your flight."

You leaned back and nodded lightly. We got out of my car and I shoved my keys in my pocket. You immediately interlaced your fingers with mine. My breath catches every time you hold my whole hand instead of just linking pinkies with me like you used to. You're not afraid anymore.

When we finally get to your terminal we sit side by side on a bench waiting for your flight to be called. Neither of us say anything. We don't have to. I rest my head on your shoulder and you write letters and draw hearts in my palm with your fingers. It's peaceful. Until the intercom screams that all passengers for Flight 112 to New York are now ready to board. You tense immediately. I turn my head on your shoulder and press a quick kiss to your neck. "You ready?" I whisper, even though I already know the answer. I'm not ready either, San. I'll never be ready for you to leave me. No matter for how long.

You slowly get up and grab your carry on bag. I had my mom stitch your name on the front so you wouldn't lose it or get it mixed up with someone else's. "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do," you whisper back. Your brows furrow. You close your eyes and I quickly kiss the lids to try and stop the tears that I know are forming behind them.

"Don't worry so much, San. I'll be fine. You'll be fine," I don't know who I'm trying to convince more, me or you. "Call me when you land. And when you get to your apartment. I love you, Santana."

You swallow hard and throw your arms around me in the tightest hug you've ever given me. "Ok. I love you more," you say, but I don't think that's possible. I watch you walk away as you board the plane. You glanced back twice but each time I gave you a nod. You can do this. Finally the doors close and I let out the breath I've been holding all day. I couldn't cry in front of you, Santana. I don't think you would have gone if I did, and you need to do this or I'll never forgive myself. You can't stay in Lima for me. Not when you have something so great ahead of you. New York is where you belong.

I sob heavily when I finally get back to my car until I feel my phone vibrate.

_BooBear3: I miss you already._

Your plane hasn't taken off yet. I'm so glad you sent a text instead of calling. I'm can't seem to get enough air into my lungs to form words. I take a few deep breaths and type out a reply.

_TO BooBear3: I'm right here. I won't ever be away from you really3333_

I don't get a reply. I'm sure your plane finally took off. My head hurts. My heart hurts, and I honestly can't help but think "well, there goes my life". But I quickly shake it off. I'll see you again.

* * *

As soon as I got home I went straight to bed. You slept over last night. My pillow still smells like you. So I pull it to my chest and inhale. My phone is pressed tightly to my chest so as soon as you call saying that you've landed I'll be able to relax. But when you call your voice is all scratchy and your nose is stuffy. You've been crying. So have I. Why is this so hard, Santana?

I want to stay on the phone with you when you get to your apartment but I know you have to put things away and get everything set up. So I tell you that I love you and we hang up. I laid in bed for 4 hours trying to sleep that night, but I couldn't because you weren't beside me. At 3 a.m. you call me. You couldn't sleep either. We fell asleep that night with our phones pressed to our face; just listening to each other breathe.

The next day you have your first day of college. You got into the music program at NYU. I've never been more proud. You're going to be a big star one day. My big star. I have to go back to McKinley today too. It doesn't feel the same without you. My right hand is cold all day where your left should be, but it's only motivation to get done with my courses so I can get back to you. I don't spit out my usual one-liners. There's no point when you're not here to laugh at all the people that actually think I'm _that_ dumb. No one gets my humor like you do.

I don't go to glee club anymore. As much as I'd like to, I really just want to make sure I get done with my core classes as fast as I can. I eat lunch with Sugar and some of the other cheerios. I try to keep my bubbly attitude but I just feel like something's missing. Something _is_ missing. I know when people say _soul mate_, everyone rolls their eyes and thinks it's the cheesiest thing they've ever heard, but I know better. You're the missing piece to my puzzle, and right now you're too far away to fill the spot where you should be.

We Skype each other every night, counting down each day until we get to see each other again. You help me with my homework and put me back on track when I get distracted by reminding me that the faster I graduate, the faster we're together again. You tell me about how annoying the people in your classes are, and I giggle because you're still the same Santana that I fell in love with. You do make friends with a girl named Emma, and for a moment I'm terrified that I've been replaced, but that feeling quickly goes away when you show me my side of the bed, and tell me how much you can't wait to get me into it. Oh Santana, don't ever change.

A few nights you call me in tears saying that you're going to come back home to me, but San, you can't. I won't let you. You've worked too hard to get where you are. I remind you of how much I love you, and how many sweet lady kisses I'm going to give you when I see you. Those nights I stay on the phone with you until your sniffles turn into light snores.

Sleeping without you never gets any easier. Sometimes I get in bed with Hayley. She's the best little sister in the world, Santana. I think I want  
her to be my maid of honor in our wedding. Is that okay? Or maybe we can name one of our babies after her.

* * *

Principle Figgins called me into his office today. When I got there Mr. Shue and Sue were there with him. He had the biggest smile on his face. He told me how all the teachers were more than impressed with my grades. He held out a piece of paper and told me congratulations. I finally had enough credits. I got my diploma, Santana.

I wanted to call you so badly and tell you the news, but I knew you were in class, so I rushed home and called my parents to take me to the airport. They knew how ready I was to get to you. I've had my bags all packed since the day you left.

They cried as I boarded the plane. I was sad to say goodbye to them, but I couldn't find the tears to cry. As bad as it sounds, I was just so excited to get to you. The flight felt like it took years. My knees bounced up and down the whole way. The lady beside me kept glaring at me, but I couldn't keep still. I thought about how you would snap at her for looking at me like that and smiled.

I was a little afraid when I finally got to New York. I had only been there when we went to Nationals and all I knew was the name of your apartment. An elderly man must have seen me having a hard time hailing a taxi, because he quickly stepped out into the street, almost getting hit by a man on a bicycle, and stopped a cab for me. He told me he could see in my eyes that I was meeting the person I loved so I better hurry up and get in. I threw my arms around him, which probably scared him half to death. There are still good people in the world, Santana.

When I finally got to your apartment the butterflies in my body were going crazy. I thought they were going to fly out of my stomach and carry my heart away, but my heart doesn't belong to them. It belongs to you and they can't take it no matter how much they want to. It was pretty late in the day. The streetlights were on. I really hoped you were home. I probably should have called.

I got all my bags out of the taxi and took a deep breath. Knocking on your door was the most nerve wracking thing I've ever done. I knocked once. No answer. I knocked twice. No answer. My heart started to pound. I really should have called. Then I heard some shuffling behind your door.

When the door creaked open and you peered around from behind it I thought your eyes were going to bug out of your head. You looked tired. You had your glasses on and your hair was pulled into a messy bun on the top of your head. You've never looked more beautiful. I think I started to fall in love with you even more.

You're standing in front of me with your jaw dropped. I'm a little afraid that you're going to faint, but then you jump on me and wrap your legs around my waist. Your arms are wrapped so tightly around my neck.

"Are you real? I'm not dreaming right." You mumble with your face pressed into my neck so hard that I'm worried your glasses might break.

"I'm here, baby. And I'm never leaving again. Can we start our life now?"

_Fin._


End file.
